Sister Margaret had always been known as the calmest nun in the convent.<\/p>\n
Nothing rattled her.<\/p>\n
Not thunderstorms.
\nNot power outages.
\nNot even Sister Agnes accidentally setting the communion bread on fire one Easter morning.<\/p>\n
So when she stumbled into breakfast one morning pale as a ghost, trembling so badly she nearly dropped her rosary beads, every head in the dining hall turned instantly.<\/p>\n
Sister Helen rushed over first.<\/p>\n
\u201cSweet Mother of God\u2026 Margaret, what happened to you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Margaret slowly lowered herself into a chair like her legs barely worked anymore.<\/p>\n
Then she crossed herself three times in a row.<\/p>\n
That terrified everyone even more.<\/p>\n
The Mother Superior looked deeply concerned.<\/p>\n
\u201cSister, are you ill?\u201d<\/p>\n
Margaret swallowed hard.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Her voice shook dramatically.<\/p>\n
\u201cI had\u2026 a dream.\u201d<\/p>\n
The other nuns exchanged nervous glances.<\/p>\n
Now, normally dreams in the convent were harmless things.<\/p>\n
Falling from church towers.
\nMissing Sunday mass.
\nAccidentally cursing during prayer.<\/p>\n
But Margaret looked genuinely traumatized.<\/p>\n
Sister Helen sat beside her carefully.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat kind of dream?\u201d<\/p>\n
Margaret stared blankly into the distance.<\/p>\n
Then whispered:<\/p>\n
\u201cI dreamed\u2026 I was married.\u201d<\/p>\n
The dining hall went completely silent.<\/p>\n
Then a few younger nuns tried unsuccessfully to hide giggles.<\/p>\n
Sister Helen smiled softly.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell\u2026 that\u2019s unusual, but hardly terrifying.\u201d<\/p>\n
Margaret looked up sharply.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat wasn\u2019t the frightening part.\u201d<\/p>\n
The room grew quiet again.<\/p>\n
The Mother Superior folded her hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened next, child?\u201d<\/p>\n
Margaret clutched her chest dramatically.<\/p>\n
\u201cIn the dream\u2026 I spent the entire night alone with my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n
Several nuns gasped.<\/p>\n
One dropped her spoon.<\/p>\n
Sister Helen blinked rapidly.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n
Margaret leaned forward slowly.<\/p>\n
\u201cAt first, it seemed pleasant enough.\u201d<\/p>\n
The younger sisters leaned closer immediately, completely invested now.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe was handsome,\u201d Margaret admitted reluctantly.<\/p>\n
More gasps.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe spoke kindly. Brought me flowers. Told me I was beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sister Agnes whispered:
\n\u201cOh dear\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Margaret nodded weakly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.
\nThat\u2019s exactly what I thought.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Mother Superior cleared her throat loudly.<\/p>\n
\u201cContinue.\u201d<\/p>\n
Margaret looked haunted.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen morning came.\u201d<\/p>\n
Every nun in the room went silent.<\/p>\n
Margaret\u2019s hands started trembling again just remembering it.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe rolled over in bed\u2026 looked directly at me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
A pause.<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2026and asked where I kept the coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n
The room blinked in confusion.<\/p>\n
Margaret continued in horror.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen he asked why there weren\u2019t clean towels in the bathroom.\u201d<\/p>\n
A few nuns started biting their lips trying not to laugh.<\/p>\n
But Margaret wasn\u2019t finished.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd then\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
She nearly broke down crying.<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2014then he asked what was for breakfast.\u201d<\/p>\n
The entire dining hall exploded into laughter.<\/p>\n
But Margaret shot up from her chair in complete panic.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t understand!\u201d<\/p>\n
Tears filled her eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe wanted eggs, Helen!
\nEGGS!\u201d<\/p>\n
Sister Helen laughed so hard she snorted.<\/p>\n
But Margaret paced the room dramatically now.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd when I told him I didn\u2019t know how to cook eggs\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
She pointed toward the ceiling in horror.<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2014he sighed heavily and started explaining how his mother used to do them!\u201d<\/p>\n
At this point several nuns were wheezing with laughter.<\/p>\n
Even the Mother Superior had turned bright red trying not to smile.<\/p>\n
But Margaret looked genuinely shaken.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen he started asking where we kept extra blankets!\u201d<\/p>\n
She clutched her rosary tightly.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd after breakfast he handed me a LIST.\u201d<\/p>\n
The room erupted again.<\/p>\n
\u201cA LIST?!\u201d Sister Agnes cried.<\/p>\n
Margaret nodded wildly.<\/p>\n
\u201cGroceries! Repairs! Something called a \u2018water bill!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
Now even the Mother Superior lost control and burst out laughing.<\/p>\n
Margaret looked betrayed.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis isn\u2019t funny!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, Margaret,\u201d Sister Helen gasped between laughs, \u201csurely it wasn\u2019t THAT terrible.\u201d<\/p>\n
Margaret froze.<\/p>\n
Then slowly turned toward her with absolute seriousness.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe asked me\u2026 if I knew how to iron dress shirts.\u201d<\/p>\n
The laughter instantly doubled.<\/p>\n
One nun literally slid halfway off her chair wheezing.<\/p>\n
But Margaret wasn\u2019t done yet.<\/p>\n
Her voice dropped to a whisper.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd then\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
The room leaned in dramatically.<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2026his mother came to visit.\u201d<\/p>\n
Pure chaos exploded through the convent.<\/p>\n
Some nuns were crying laughing now.<\/p>\n
Sister Agnes pounded the table repeatedly.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened?!\u201d<\/p>\n
Margaret looked like she had seen the devil himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe inspected the curtains.\u201d<\/p>\n
The room SCREAMED with laughter.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd then she asked why I folded towels \u2018the lazy way!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
By now even Margaret looked slightly offended reliving the memory.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe reorganized my kitchen, criticized my housekeeping, and told my husband I looked tired!\u201d<\/p>\n
The Mother Superior wiped tears from her eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cMargaret, my dear\u2026 I think perhaps you\u2019ve been reading too many romance novels.\u201d<\/p>\n
Margaret spun toward her dramatically.<\/p>\n
\u201cROMANCE?!\u201d<\/p>\n
She pointed wildly.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere was NOTHING romantic about it!\u201d<\/p>\n
The room quieted slightly.<\/p>\n
Margaret lowered her voice to a trembling whisper.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know what the worst part was?\u201d<\/p>\n
Sister Helen barely managed to ask:
\n\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
Margaret crossed herself again.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I finally escaped to the bathroom for peace and quiet\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
A pause.<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2026someone knocked on the door asking how much longer I\u2019d be.\u201d<\/p>\n
The convent absolutely collapsed.<\/p>\n
Nuns were bent over tables gasping for air.
\nOne nearly spilled tea everywhere.
\nEven the Mother Superior had given up all dignity.<\/p>\n
But Margaret still looked deeply traumatized.<\/p>\n
Finally Sister Helen caught her breath enough to ask:<\/p>\n
\u201cSo what did you do?\u201d<\/p>\n
Margaret sat down slowly.<\/p>\n
Stared into the distance.<\/p>\n
Then whispered:<\/p>\n
\u201cI woke up immediately\u2026
\nand thanked God for celibacy.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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